Friday, December 10, 2010

sharing sad news



Sometimes the almost-mindless but always-gratifying act of creating can be therapeutic. This was the case for me as I crafted and assembled favors and wrote a short poem for today's luncheon to follow my mother’s memorial service.



I have mentioned before how I very much like to keep my blog a “happy place” and have only hinted at problems surrounding my mom. Last week, she passed away after nearly three years of longing to die following the death of my stepfather, her professed “first love” of her teens. Because of various consequences, too many to detail, all funeral details were already made, her possessions far away, and I was feeling very disconnected so I volunteered to plan the after-luncheon and make it my mission to host a warm event filled with happy remembrances. I found a childhood photo of my mother and used it to make tags tied to small bags of Hershey’s miniatures -- my mom loved Hershey chocolate.



As I sprinkled each tag with glitter, it felt strange and somehow okay -- you see my mother was cremated (I shake my head as I struggle to even write these words) but her ashes will be buried alongside my stepfather. The sprinkling of the glitter over her smiling face somehow gave me a little … I don’t even know … connection.


Thanks for listening.


xo

elyse

111 comments:

Jo said...

I am so sorry to hear of your mothers death. My thoughts are with you

JunqueMagnet said...

So sorry for your loss. May you find some comfort in glitter and the creating of newly beautiful things.

Floss said...

God bless you - my mother died in October, also after several long, hard years. I am glad that you found a way to express your love and sadness through your creativity. I'll be thinking of you.

Theresa said...

Oh my friend, I am so sorry for your loss:( It makes me sad that you lost your precious Mama but I know that she is walking the streets of gold! I love the sweet picture and the added glitter that you added! ONLY you could make such a special day in memory of your Mama! Dear friend, I will be praying for you and your family! {{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}

Pink Princess said...

I too am so sorry for your loss.

Many hugs from Marian

Mrs. Cozy Home said...

Bless you and your family ... I wish you peace, strength and comfort.

May you find a stable place in the loving faces of your little boys during this tough time.

It's me said...

O my...what a sad news.......so sorry for the lost of your mom !! i´ll be thinkimg of you......loev Ria....

My mom is also very very ill at this moment we are very woried of here......love Ria...

Lilybets said...

I'm very sorry for your loss.Your mother had a very beautiful smile and i hope that now she is in peace and that your heart could be better as soon is possible.This blog is truly a happy place,but now,with this post,is even real, like our life,when we love a lot and we suffer..this is life.Bye dear,see you. Lilybets.

Katy Noelle said...

Oh, Elyse! My heart is so with you. Do you mind if I cry with/for you? Love and hugs!!!!!

Katyxxo

Katy Noelle said...

btw, sharing this real news makes your blog more beautiful! Just thought that you should know.

birdie blue said...

oh, elyse, my heart breaks for you. i'm so sorry to hear about your dear mom. i'm so sorry for your loss.

you'll be in my thoughts and prayers.
xo
~molly

Sandi said...

Oh Elyse I am so sorry to hear of your mother's passing. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. I can't imagine the pain you must be feeling.
Hugs~

Sewn With Grace said...

I am very sorry to hear of her passing and the pain that comes from your words. I will be keeping you and your family in my prayers. The tags are beautiful and I am so glad that are bringing you comfort. Blessings...

T's Daily Treasures said...

Dear Elyse, I am so sorry to hear your sad news. It brings tears to my eyes. There are those who would say that the feeling if disconnect is not a good thing, but I can honestly tell you that in many ways it is a blessing. It sounds like you have planned such a beautiful way to remember your mother. Sending hugs your way xoxoxox Tammy

LindaSonia said...

So sad to hear of your loss; sending you a big warm hug of comfort to wrap yourself in. Thinking of you.

Roselle said...

Dear Elyse:
I'm very sorry for your loss. I will keep you and yours in my thoughts and prayers. Your little glittery tags are a beautiful memorial to your Mother. There is no rule book for grief (I've lost both my parents). Whatever works for you is what you do. Maybe the "disconnect" is just part of YOUR grief process. Hang in there.
Fondly,
Roselle

Annelies said...

I am so sorry for your loss. As someone who lost my Dad when I was a teen, I know that it is a hurt that never leaves. But hugs and prayers are a gentle reminder that many share your broken heart and I hope this will bring some solace.

Lisa said...

Elyse,
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I think the little keepsake you made will be so appreciated and cherished by your guests. You chose such a sweet picture of your Mom.

julie said...

Hoping the cheerful memories of your mom will soon fill your heart again with joy. Your tags are such a sweet remembrance of your mom and I'm sure will be much appreciated by everyone in attendance. Wishing you and your family peace.

Cindy said...

Elyse,

I am so sorry for your loss for the decisions you are having to make.For the loss of your Mama.

I know she must of been proud of you.Your creativity will an awesome outlet for you during the coming months and years.The gold sprinkled on her picture..makes it so heavenly looking.

I will be praying for you and your family. Know you are loved and thought of!!

Hugs Cindy from Rick-Rack and Gingham

A Thing for Roses said...

So sorry to hear about your Mom. I'm sure this is a hard time for you and your family. Just wanted to send you warm wishes and a big hug.

Lisa

stefanie said...

oh, I am truly sorry for your loss, especially at this time, I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!!!!

NanaDiana said...

Oh Elyse! I am so sorry to hear about your Mother's passing. However, it sounds as if she is in a happier place for herself...not that it helps YOU deal with her loss. It is sad that she spent 3 years of her life wishing it away...sad for you..sad for any grandchildren...sad for her too.

Your tags are a beautiful momento of your Mom. I understand the concept of the "dust" and it is probably theraputic for you. Hang on because I know there will be days ahead where you will feel every range of emotion...from sadness, to anger, to feeling hopeless. Remember on those days to look up and rest on someone that is greater than yourself...and know that you are loved by many people-myself included!

Hugs to you my dear sweet friend~ Diana

Bunny Rose Cottage said...

Oh Elyse, I am so sad to read this this morning :( My heart goes out to you. I know that the luncheon will be so beautiful and such a tribute to your mom, she will be looking down at everything so proud of you!!
Sending lots of love and hugs,
Amy

Hilary @ Sweet as June said...

I am sorry Elyse... those favors are truly special. take care.

Kelly Massman said...

So sorry to hear of your loss! Heartbreaking...

Gail Thayer said...

Elyse,
I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweet Mom...prayers are being said for you and your family.

Karen said...

Oh Elyse.
I am so sorry to hear of your Mom. Boy do I know what you are going through. But looking at her adorable picture - what a great thing you did.
You will always have the memories and pictures to carry you through. Just know she is just elated to be where she is - how awesome is that? You will see her again someday.
Stay strong my friend. You will survive, I promise.
Big hugs! Karen

fitty's pinky rose cottage said...

Dear Elyse, I am sorry to hear the passing of your mom. My thoughts are with you and huggggss a lot!

ROSE VINE COTTAGE said...

Hi Elyse. I am so sorry to hear about your Mom passing, I lost my Dad in October. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Passionate for White said...

Your post so touched me. Thanks for sharing a bit of your Mom with us all.

RACHELLE said...

I know exactly what you meant. I was greatful for being very involved in the funeral details of my grandma and grandpa. I had been very close to them my whole life and then moved far away before they passed. It was a closure and a sense of closeness to plan. I am sorry for your loss but at the same time...am happy she is with her sweetheart again.

love and thoughts and prayers,

shell
gypsylemonade.blogspot.com

kittykill said...

I am so sorry for your loss. My heart and prayers go out to your and your family.

Debby said...

I am so sorry that you have lost your Mother. I love what you did with her picture and the chocolates. I hope the service goes well.

My Blessed Serendipity Life said...

So sorry for the loss of your mother. What a beautiful little remembrance of the childhood photo that you will share with those who love her. Prayers go out to you and your family.

-Danielle

Prudence said...

I am so sorry Elyse! I know what your going through, I lost my mom some time ago. I am truly sad for you, sometimes it's ok to share your sadness on your blog. I hope you find encouragment in all the comments.
Thinking of you...

Lorrie said...

I'm so sorry Elyse, for the loss of your mother. Doing something so lovely as planning the luncheon and making those beautiful favors is a healing act.
Praying for comfort and peace for you and yours.

Diane said...

That is so beautiful, I love the concept, much happier I hope your heart mends. oxox, Diane

AshTreeCottage said...

My deepest sympathy goes out to you. I lost my Daddy in June. Her memory will live on through you. God Bless.

Love,
Susan and Bentley
xxoo

A Vintage Chic said...

I'm so sorry about this, Elyse...I would never have known you were going through this--your blog IS always a happy place.

I'm glad you are able to deal with it all with grace and to talk about it a little--it helps.

Creativity is always a wonderful solace...I'm glad you recognize that, my friend.

Wishing you a peaceful day...

Julie

Miss Rhea said...

Gosh Elyse, I am SO sorry. I cant even begin to imagine what you are going through. Just know that prayers are being lifted for you and your family and hugs being sent your way. I am glad that you are doing things to help you stay busy and to grieve. We all grieve in our own way sweetie and glitter away ! I totally get the symbolism and I am glad that you found a tie there. I hope today you are surrounded by many loved ones who will hug you and hold you. I know your Mom is in peace, I hope that you will be too in time. Prayers, Hugs and Love, Rhea

Into Vintage said...

Dear Elyse,
I'm so sorry for your loss and will keep you in my thoughts. I love that you crafted such a sweet tribute for your mother.

And I'm grateful you chose to reach out and share this with us on your blog. Wishing you comfort & peace at this time. -amy

Suz said...

Oh, Elyse.
I am so sorry to hear of your mom's passing. I lost my mom as a teenager and still can relate to losing one's mother. There is something so special about a mother that other people don't replace. I love seeing the things you have done...Art Saves once again...as Jenny Doh would say. Thank God you are able to find a way to use your creativity to show your love and caring at a this time. I will be thinking of you as you go through this time. I am so glad you shared this with us..personally, i don't mind at all if your blog isn't always a "happy place." These things are a part of life.
With love,
Suz

Ioana-Catrinel said...

I am so sorry to hear of your mothers death. My thoughts are with you

Shabbyfufu said...

Hugs to you Elyse in your time of such sorrow, my heart is with you.....always, Janet

Brenda Kula said...

You look so much like her, Elyse. I'm sorry for your pain. We need to share these things every once in awhile, I think. Keeps us connected to one another on a more emotional level. I guess all I know to say is, thank goodness I won't have to go through this. And I'm very sorry that you did.
Brenda

Zuzu said...

Oh, sweet Elyse. I am so sorry for your loss.

When my sister passed, I too sought comfort in crafting. I made a memory collage board for my sister's service, and filled it with pictures of her from when she was small to the last one that had been taken. Looking at each photo brought back happy memories.

Sending you and your family loving thoughts & hugs,
~ Zuzu

Joanne Kennedy said...

I know first hand how hard it is to lose a mother. My heart goes out to you and I pray that you find some comfort in knowing she is now with her true love. I have no real words of comfort as there are no words to take away the pain. I'm so sorry.

Hugs,
Joanne

Suzann said...

I am sorry to hear of your loss, what a great tribute you are doing for your mother.
My prayers are with you at this time.

Suzann

Alison said...

Elyse,
I'm so sorry to hear this sad news. My thoughts and prayers are with you at this most difficult time.
Alison

Sonia said...

Dear Elyse,
I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Love and Hugs!!

Sonia

Becky said...

a very very difficult transition ..letting go and still finding a way to hold on. My heart goes out to you and the family..there is freedom in letting go and and in finding a way to process you will discover that she is still there. The glitter was a healing step I think

Becky McBride Wierzbicki said...

How very proud you must have made your Mother today...what a thoughtful expression of love to make those favors..the sprinkling of the glitter was as if you were actually sprinkling her love on each and every favor. You are a special daughter..she was blessed to have you. I am sorry for your loss. My Mom passed away in 1991 but it still hurts and I still miss her but she knew I loved her with all my heart..the love is the one thing that never dies..it stays with us until we meet again..God Bless You, Elyse Sincerely, Becky

Andy-Brown Bee Studio said...

Dear sweet Elyse, my heart goes out out to you. Your simple heartfelt words have only made you blog that much more beautiful. I pray you will continue to find solace through creating beautiful things. Sending thoughts of peace, comfort and healing to you. xoxo

Olivia said...

Hello sweet friend! Big squishy hugs! Keep creating...it is the only thing keeeps me sane! Hope you know we all love you and your in our hearts!
Hugs,
Olivia

Pansy Cottage Girl said...

Oh my sweet friend I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. I wish I could be there with you to offer strength and support but know I am there in spirit. Heres a big hug. Love you a ton.

Something Nice and Pretty said...

I'm so, so sorry, my mom has been gone 9 years last month. Making her pictures prettier with the glitter and tied to her Hershey Kisses is great for you to do right now. I'll be thinking of you too!

pilgrimscottage said...

I am so sorry for your loss. Losing Mom is very difficult. May you find comfort.

Claudia said...

Hello dear friend.

I'm glad you wrote about it. You were in my thoughts today, as I knew this was the day for a memorial and luncheon. What a sweet photo of your Mom. I see you in her.

My hope is that today has helped in some way. These rituals are necessary. I hope you had a day of happy remembrances.

Love,
Claudia

Jessica at Kids Napping? I'm Scrapping! said...

I'm so sorry, Elyse. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. I'm sending many hugs your way.

Lataina said...

I am so sorry to hear about your mom. Sending warm wishes and hugs to you and your family.

~Becca~Bluebird Rose said...

So very sorry for your loss......
~Becca~

The Polka Dot Closet said...

I am so sorry to hear this, you seem way to young to lose your Mom, or course I don't think we are ever old enough to lose our parents. I am sure you did a lovely lunch.

Carol

Becca said...

Elyse,
I'm so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
The tags are beautiful.
Hugs.

koralee said...

Sending you warm hugs and love my sweet friend...life can be so hard at times..my heart is with you.

Country Dreaming said...

I had no idea that you were struggling with this.
I hope your luncheon goes as you plan.
Blessings and prayers to you for you and your Mom.

Melinda

Creative Grammie said...

So very sorry Elyse to hear of the loss of your mother; it is a heartfelt sadness I know.
It's wonderful how you can celebrate her life and express your love of your mom through your creativity; I love what you're doing.
Hugs from the heart--Wayna (Creative Grammie)

~Lovely Vintage Country Life~ said...

My heart, thoughts and prayers go out to you Elyse and your family. I am so very sorry for the loss of your Mother.

debi said...

Oh, Elyse, I'm so very sorry to hear about your mom. My heart aches for you, my sweet friend. I wish you peace in precious memories of times spent with her.

I'm keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Sending hugs across the miles.
Love and hugs, Debi

Jenny's Craft Place said...

Hugs, Jenny

Twyla and Lindsey said...

Elyse, I am really sorry to hear of your mother's passing. Your favors are so nice, your mother was so pretty. Twyla

Jill said...

Elyse,
I'm so sorry for your loss. Please know that I am keeping you in my thoughts.

Your sweet, glittery tribute to your mom is wonderful and so heartwarming. Who knew that glitter could be so healing? Actually, I think I've always known. Glitter has helped me through some tough times in ways that only a crafter could understand.

Big hugs,
Jill

Blessedmom's Simple Home said...

Your creations were beautiful. I'm sure it touched everyone who was there. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Blessings,
Marcia

Brenda said...

I am deeply sorry for your loss. It is too painful to even imagine what it would be like to lose my mother.

I am praying for your strength to get through the days that follow.

the cardigan-inn said...

I'm so sorry for your loss.
What a beautiful picture that is of your mom.
Love, from Holland

Liszha said...

I am so sorry to hear this sad news. Friends come and go, familymembers can be close but there is no one as special as your mother!
I am so sad for you. The photo of your mother is such a happy one. She was a lovely girl!
Hugs,
Lisette

lynn said...

i just happened upon your cottage page.. while blogging and i felt so touched by your post.. i too lost my mother recently.... and know just what you are feeling.. and she too was cremated....i love the picture and i hope that creating gave you a bit of comfort.... and knowing she was at peace and with her loved one again :) i know my father was happy to see my mother again ...
thank you for your lovely blog.. and know that we out here... send loving thoughts and hugs
big ladybug hugs
lynn

Amanda said...

What a lovely gesture. It must be so hard for you. Take care.

Jen Kershner said...

Oh Elyse. Sweetie, I am sorry to hear about your mom and it is such a difficult time of year too. I sense from your words that your relationship was complicated. I might be imagining that. Or projecting. I know that can make the grieving process more complicated. I know from experience. My mom was also cremated which was not what I wanted but was what she wanted. That was a bit difficult for me as well. I'm so sorry for your loss. I love the way you chose to honor her. Do you realize how much that picture looks like it could be you? If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here. Hugs, Jen

Michaele said...

So sorry for your sadness and loss, and so grateful for your creative spirit that made it possible for you to help celebrate her life in such a beautiful way. Peace to you and your family.

Terri said...

Elyse I am so sorry to hear about your mom passing. I will say a little prayer for you and your family. I thought it was so incredibly sweet what you made for your mom's remembrance. She was definitely looking down and smiling as you were glittering. Take care sweet friend. Terri

Cassandra said...

Oh my I am so sorry to hear about your mother passing! Your post was lovely, despite such a challenging time. Thank you so much for sharing your heart with us. Sending hugs and much love. xox Cassandra

Holly- Girls At Heart said...

so sorry! sweetie! I'll be remembering you! ♥

Sandy at Teacup Lane said...

I am sorry to hear of your Mother's passing. I lost my Mom almost 20 years ago so I know how difficult and painful a time it is for you and your family. I love the glitter on your Mother's childhood photo. I'm sure she is smiling down from heaven at your creations. My Mom loved chocolate too. Bless you and your family!

Jeanne said...

Oh Elyse, my heart is breaking for you, I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. I'm so happy you were able to share the news with all of us. Many of us have been through the same thing. If I can be of any help, please let me know.
Hugs,
xo
jeanne

Lori said...

Elyse
My deepest sympathy. The loss of ones Mom is one of the hardest, a part of us goes with them. Know in your heart she has left a bit of herself with you to share each and everyday with the ones you love. My Mom is gone five years and there isn't a day I long for her touch or the sound of her voice. My only comfort some-days is when I have a dream of here and she smiles a smile I knew and loved.
Lori

Rhonda said...

Sorry to hear of your moms passing.
You look like your lovely mom. The tags, you made are wonderful.
Hugs!
Sharing this news of your mom makes your blog that much more lovely!
Take care of you!
Rhonda

Rustique Gal said...

Elyse, I'm so sorry that you lost your mother. It must have been a difficult time for you. It's wonderful that you found a way to put joy into the get-together with the sweet glittered tags and all. Please know we are thinking of you!
Hugs,
Sherry

Glitter & Bliss said...

Oh my goodness. I am so sorry for your loss. Glitter works wonders... I can relate a bit to your situation. My mom misses my Dad a lot too. I know she is ready to move on too. Thinking and praying for you. Leslie

Rose Garden Romantic said...

Elyse,I'm so very sorry for the loss of your dear mother.
Hugs,
Michelle

Lynn @ Honey Darlins Corner said...

I've just found your blog today and I'm so happy that I did. I'm so sorry your loss. I love the glitter tags you made of her photo. How beautiful! I look forward to more of your post.

Janet said...

I'm so sorry Elyse. What a beautiful and touching post. You're so right about creativity being therapeutic -- the little photo tags you made are so very special!

My thoughts are with you....

GardenofDaisies said...

Elyse, I'm glad you were able to find a way to bring a special heartfelt touch to the memorial for your mother. Hugs to you.

Elsie said...

I am so sorry to hear of your mom's
passing. My thoughts and prayers
are with you. I have been offline
for a while due to computer problems.

cupcake studio said...

What a sweet photo of your mom! Very sorry for your loss. We'll send a prayer up for you.

{Bellamere Cottage} said...

Elyse.... I'm so very sorry to hear of the loss of your mother.... My Mum passed away the day after Christmas two years ago...and that's actually why I started blogging. My heart goes out to you.... I understand the loss and heartbreak. I'm praying for comfort for you....

Warm blessings,
Spencer

My Vintage Studio said...

Dear Elyse,

I'm so sorry for your loss and will keep you in my thoughts. You created a beautufl tribute for your mother.

Sharon

Valerie said...

My heart aches for you at the loss of your mother. My prayers are with you and your family.

Krishana said...

You have found a very beautiful way to honor your mother. I am so sorry for your loss and keep you in prayer.

Yvonne said...

I'm so sorry about your Mom's passing. I adore the picture tags that you made in her honor...what a lovely remembrance and tribute. I wish I had thought of something so wonderful to do when my Mom passed.

cottage farm villa said...

Dear Elyse,

I am so sorry to hear about your mom's passing. Your little tags with your mom's childhood picture were very thoughtful and beautiful. My thoughts are with you dear.

Little Pink Studio said...

Oh Elyse,
I am so very sorry for your loss.
My thoughts and prayers are with you during this time.
If you need anything at all, please don't hesitate to let me know.
Much love to you.
Cerri

The imPerfect Housewife said...

You are SOOOO much in my heart right now - what a time for this to be going on. Those little tags are just beyond precious ~ what an AMAZING idea and honor to her to do that. If we can't help you in person, we can be here to listen and comfort ~ ♥♥

Lisa said...

Oh sweetie, I am glad you found a way to do what you do best to help you through all of this. I feel the same way about my blog but usually share the bad things when it is all I can think about anymore. I do hope you and your family are well and will be able to smile with happy memories.
Hugs, Lisa

Anisa said...

So sorry to hear about your mother but what a beautiful love story. Thanks for sharing this and your beautiful project to honor and celebrate your mom. May her memories and bring you joy now and in everything you make.

sue said...

the day we all dread. saying "goodbye". love ya, and thinking of you.

paige said...

Oh Elyse! I am so so sorry for your loss! Surely she is looking down and smiling at your BEAUTIFUL tribute. Those pictures are so sweet. Sending hugs and blessings ... Love, Paige

luckygirlgifts said...

Oh Elyse,
I'm so sorry for your loss.
I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to contact you sooner.
Your mother was beautiful and so are the little favors that you made. What a lovely little tribute.
I hope you are holding up alright,
tinkering can defintely be helpful.
I love your little tree in the "Girly office"
You are in my thoughts.
xoxo
cari B.

Maryjane-The Beehive Cottage said...

Elyse you are so loved here. This post is so sweet. A bit of healing for the loss of your Mother. I am so sorry and my heart goes out to you my dear. Your Mother's picture soooo reminds me of your darling features.

I love you,
Maryjane
xox

Ana said...

Oh dear Elyse,
I am so sorry to hear about your mom's passing. My heart goes out to you.

Hugs and Kisses,
♥Ana

Sweet Cottage Dreams said...

dearest elyse....

i am so sad to read about the loss of your mother and the sadness it brings to your heart. it is ok to express yourself to us girls - you know i sure do! sometimes life seems so unfair, doesn't it?

praying that you find comfort and peace.....

love you,
becky